BABYGIRL’S CRIB

I've been so tired but yet unable to sleep more than 3-4 hours a night.

I'm just overwhelmed with everything going on.  I had learned a veil choreo before Christmas that I backed out of performing at the Christmas show and when I came back in Jan I could not remember most of it!  I was so frustrated.  I'm supposed to practice it so I can perform it in a show in July that is featuring Moria, a Tribal Bellydance Superstars.  AND we're starting to work on a new choreo next week to also perform in that show.  So I will just have to screw up two choreos.  Plus our director has hinted that I can perform two other choreos (providing I learn them) with the advanced troupe and another group.  Of course at the time I was excited because I was the one that suggested the damn songs to do and she told me that she had them already in mind so would I want to perform them with the other group...

How do I feel now?  Ah hell no?!

And that's just for bellydance...

I walked into a new halau for Polynesian this year and into four, yes 4, choreos that the group has been working on between 1-2 yrs ago!!!  So I have to catch up to the rest of the group so that we can perform them as part of this season's shows.  I'm only glad that most of us we're on the same page about competitions for the group and that we decided against it.  This little reprieve gives me around 4 months to learn these existing 4 choreos.

*sighs*

Of course, I haven't told you that I have been entered to compete a solo number at the Pac West Dance Festivals in April.  I haven't danced this number since last May and not in public either!

Plus, since I sit on a few boards I have tons of activities to do...

Fundraising gala next weekend...thank goodness I'm President and I was able to appoint someone else as Fundraising director.  I think I wouldn't have been able to breathe if I had to do this all too...I am so glad it is almost over.

So... I can produce my first theatre show...I know, I don't know when to stop...Anyway, it's a fundraising dance show that my production company will put together to raise money for my Infant and Toddler Society so we can finally build that Centre.  I'm hoping to have this in May and I just need to secure the venue and then it should all fall to place...PLEASE!

So I don't understand why I just can't get enough sleep.

There is a new version of  Monopoly in the works right now.  It will be called Monopoly Here and Now World Edition.

If you go to monopoly and sign up you can vote on 10 cities a day to be added to the board.   There's 68 pre-selected cities to choose from at the end of the voting the top 20 cities voted for will make it on the new board that will be out on the market in Oct.

Vancouver is on the list!!!  Please go and vote for it.  You have 10 cities to vote for a day.

You also can nominate a city not on the list.  I have chosen Manila, Philippines.  At the end of the voting they will choose the top nominated cities for 2 wildcard cities and the voting for those two will begin. 

I'm pretty excited!  I love Monopoly and I would love to see my favourite cities on them...

Please go and vote!!!

There is 35 Days, 17 Hours, 11 Mins and 10 secs left for voting as I'm writing this...

I sat down to check my email and I saw the little news box on Yahoo say that Heath Ledger was found dead today.  I'm totally shocked.  I really liked him, he was never "Hollywoodized".  I liked the parts he chose.  I feel bad for his daughter.

So young...

I have been lagging.  I'm tired.  I can't sleep. 

I keep seeing Lizzy's face and remembering her.  The self-protective side of me wishes I never became friends with her mom because then I wouldn't have gotten to know her better.  Asia has made other friends in school but I'm not close to their moms, why couldn't it be them I would think.  Then I would feel guilty that I would think like that.

I finally spoke to her mom today and we had some laughs about some memories and she sounds so much better than I would.  She did say that the house was full of people and when the door closes at night and it's quiet that's when it all sinks in again.  She said she's been in denial but the obituary came out today and that made it real and I have to agree when I saw it I just had to finally believe that it was her.  I keep hoping to wake from the bad dream. 

If this is how I feel, I don't even want to know what her parents are going through.

My friends have been great, sending her cards and coming with me to the service next week.  They only met her a couple of times but they embraced because she's my friend.  I love them.  They really made this easier on me.  We went out for a much needed dinner last night and I finally felt free to laugh out loud and enjoy the evening.  I knew  I would go back to the grind today.

I have chosen to read "Do Not Stand At My Grave and Weep."   I have read that poem before whenever I have lost someone but I feel that it is Lizzy.   I am still trying to figure out something First Nation, just like her mom wanted.  I had asked all the heads of the Aboriginal program and had arranged a meeting from someone in the Kwantlen Nation but unfortunately he took a bad fall yesterday.  I should be receiving a call soon so he can share some prayers and poems with me.

Her parents have chosen a favourite song of hers for the kids to sing during the ceremony.  I didn't tell them but I contacted the artist to ask him if he would come and perform it live on Wed.  I am still waiting to hear from him but I hope he agrees to it because it would make her parents so happy.  Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Anyway, I thought that it wasnt' fair that I was holding up Christmas not being in the mood now to decorate or anything so I finally gathered the kids to take all our decorations out of our storage to put up the tree.  Well what do you know...NO TREE.  I couldn't figure out what the hell happened until it dawned on me that I gave a lot of stuff away to a friend.  I think maybe I was planning to move, maybe buy a new one or buy a real one.  Who knows now but the kids sat there just disappointed again.

I guess I have to hope that I can get one tomorrow morning.  I might actually try for a real one since it's so late now.  I also bought all the ingredients to make cookies and almond bark but do you think I have done anything with that? 

I was so excited last month and I wanted to get decorated by Nov 25th but one thing after another has come up and now the Spirit has left the building...

I am trying to muster up the energy for the upcoming week because it is going to be hellish and busy.

I wish I could pack up and go away and come back refreshed in the New Year.  It has to be better than 2007.

Asia's best friend died on Sunday.  We found out first thing Monday morning and the kids and I have been bursting out in tears at the oddest times since then.  I haven't found out all the details from my her mom, who I have been very friendly with.  I just get info back and forth from the Principal and her until today.

Today she left me a message with all the info for her Celebration of Life.  She asked me to do a reading or blessing for it.

*sighs*

Does anyone have any suggestions?  I have already chosen a couple of poems.

I'm glad she doesn't know that I've become an ordained minister.